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This is Neuro Diverse Diary! The weekly Newsletter for professionals with Neuro Differences. It’s that time for another insight into our different world!

Last Week…

We introduced the concept of boundaries, if you missed this, check it out here.

Today we’ll continue our series on boundaries. We’ll delve into it in the work setting. 

The following discussion depends on whether you're comfortable informing your team and colleagues about your neuro difference.

Boundaries are probably more straightforward if you just dropped your neurodivergent bomb on all your colleagues.

I'll keep it real, in my opinion, it may come at a cost.

Why?

Some companies, say they are inclusive and mean it.

And some companies say they're inclusive but quite frankly it's "lips service".

Ultimately, you don't want anything to potentially be used against you due to a preconceived idea about your neurodifference.

Which can potentially hinder your:

• Job exposure

• Job opportunities

In my case:

I'm a Chartered Accountant. I am a trusted business partner for my stakeholders.

If I came out and told my Marketing VP that I'm an ADHDer she may assume I won't pay attention and f*ck up her marketing budget.

That means I have to be perfect, and any minor mistakes may be held against me.

Which means, more pressure and unnecessary stress.

So, I'd probably play it safe before committing to something you may not be able to reverse.

Equally, it may not happen.

As far as my colleagues and business partners are concerned I'm a neurotypical.

But the boundaries I've set for myself are for my neurodifference.

I disguised it well (at least I think I have). Neurodivergent Incognito mode

My Go-To boundaries

Here are my top 10 boundaries.

They’re polite “Leave me alone!” without drawing attention.

The nature of your job may not allow you to do all of the suggestions.

I'm hopeful, that picking and sticking to a couple can make a difference:

1. Noise Cancelling Headphones

2. Keep your colleagues in the loop

3. Clear Communication Boundaries

4. Setting the tone from early

5. Calendar Blocks for focus time

6. Request Written Instructions

7. Strategic Breaks

8. Delay Responses

9. Personal Work rituals

10. Request Defined deadlines

1) Noise Cancelling Headphones 🎧

When working in the office, I'm for a bit of chat. It's an opportunity to bond with my non-finance colleagues.

Some like to talk a lot!

When it gets a bit overwhelming and I can't focus, I'll grab my headphones and politely inform them "I'm just plugging in to do some deep work".

As much as I'd love to, I can't keep my headphones in all day, I've got to "appear sociable". Masking? Probably.

2) Keep your colleagues in the loop 📞

During my catchups with my non-finance colleagues. I let them know that finance is going through a busy period, be it i.e. Budget Season, Month End, etc.

Whatever busy period you're going through, communicate that to your manager/wider colleagues explaining that you'll be slower than usual to respond to any queries.

I'm extra, I'll even put a 'meeting' in their calendars to remind them of the busy period.

Over time they've gotten the swing of my work cycle and bombared me after my busy season.

3) Clear Communication Boundaries 📧

If constant interruptions or rapid responses are challenging, you could set a personal rule to check emails or messages only at certain times (e.g., every hour instead of constantly).

This has been my game changer as someone who is a recovering people pleaser at work.

If you use Microsoft Teams, Slack, or any other Instant messaging, try taking advantage of the status updates.

Each time I find myself needing headspace I update my status to "Focused Time🎧" and notifications are muted.

As mentioned last week. I used to be the sucker that dropped my work for people's queries which is draining.

4) Set the tone (from early) 🗣

If you're starting a new role or company, this might be the first thing you wanna do.

Let your manager and colleagues know:

• How you like to work

• How you like you be managed

This gives them a heads-up, it’s transparent and honest.

The caveat? You better hit your deliverables when you tell people how you like to work.

5) Calendar Blocks for Focus Time 🗓

Enables me to get deep work done

I find it very difficult to plan every minute of my day. Something random will present itself.

For exercises that require laser focus i.e. preparing a presentation to my colleagues.

I’ll put some “time in with myself” to do nothing else but that task I set out.

I tend to organize my work calendar the day before so I know what I have planned for the day ahead.

This helps me sleep better because I’ll be less anxious.

I allocate 30 minutes to go through my emails and respond to any queries. I must say this point is easier said than done, but on a good day, it can work wonders.

6) Request Written Instructions 📝

Sometimes my auditory/working memory can let me down, and I don’t know whether I can fully trust it.

I don’t like the ‘he says’ nonsense, I start doubting what took place.

I find it easier to process written information.

You could ask for follow-up emails or summaries after meetings.

Framing it as a way to stay organized or keep a record, which many people do anyway.

I have everything documented at work.

Not for ulterior motives, but to protect my mind from wondering, and misunderstanding things.

7) Strategic Breaks ☕️

I tend to do this shortly after I’ve exerted a lot of brain power! I.e. a long meeting, a task I’ve just completed that required laser focus.

I find that below helps me maintain my energy levels and help me remain productive:

• Taking quick walks

• Stretching, or

• Stepping away from your desk

Building these into your day helps with focus without needing to explain it as a specific need.

8) Delay Responses

Sometimes I receive email requests that I don’t understand. I’m conscious I may not want to ask a question that might make me look/sound silly.

If you need time to process requests or questions.

Set a boundary where you wait a bit before responding to emails or messages, unless urgent.

Framing this as “ensuring a thoughtful response” is widely accepted.

9) Personal Work Rituals 

I like to establish routines or rituals that help me focus.

For example:

• Taking a few minutes to organize my desk

• Making a cup of tea

10) Request Defined Deadlines 

I always ask for clear deadlines for tasks and projects.

Framing it as a way to prioritize my workload.

This helps me with time management and prevents last-minute stress without needing to disclose the reason behind the request.

These are my go-to’s for now. From time to time I sometimes dabble with new ideas, that I think will help me perform better.

These tactics may not be practical 100% of the time. They may also appear “self-centered”.

But I realized as a Neurodivergent incognito, I have to be selfish at times to hit my deliverables.

People pleasing, or being too accommodating can be costly for me.

Next week, we’ll wrap up our series on boundaries. We’ll talk about setting them on a personal level. This will be fun!

MEME OF THE WEEK

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