Hey!

This is Neuro Diverse Diary! The weekly Newsletter for professionals with Neuro Differences. It’s that time for another insight into our different world!

Today’s newsletter piece will be slightly different only because it’s a topic that means so much to me and it’s been a lifelong challenge for me, as a people pleaser.

…Boundaries!

For the next three weeks, we’ll cover the topic of boundaries, we’ll do a three-part series, so:

• Today 2nd November: We’ll talk about the importance of boundaries

• Next week 9th November: We’ll talk about setting them in the workplace

• November 16th: We’ll talk about setting them in a personal setting

What is a boundary? 

According to the American Psychological Association (APA):

“Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. They define what is acceptable and unacceptable in others' behavior toward us, helping us protect our well-being and maintain integrity”.

Early in my career…

Up until recently, say the last two years, I had a hard time struggling to set boundaries, especially at work:

• As I had Imposter Syndrome

• I was keen to please everybody

• I cared what people had to say about me if I said NO

As a result of this, I would allow myself to get pulled from pillar to post.

If I’m in the middle of deep work and I get a notification on any form of instant message be it Microsoft Teams or Slack.

I would immediately drop what I’m doing and attend to the query, irrespective of the level of seniority of the person messaging me, I would drop what I’m doing and adjust to the query.

This had some detrimental effects on my work deliverables, as I am ultimately task-switching frequently and it’s hindering my ability to do deep work.

I remember going into the office one day and I got zero work done, as I attended everyone’s query at the expense of my work. I went back home feeling I had been robbed! I had to work in the evening.

I’ve got a family! and it’s not fair to them

Why you should set boundaries

I wish I knew how to set boundaries early in my career!

Boundaries are crucial tools for protecting your:

• Energy

• Focus and,

• Mental health

1) Protecting your “Attention Bank”

For people like me with ADHD, attention and focus are limited resources.

Boundaries help me protect those resources by reducing distractions or setting clear limits on what I can handle.

2) Emotion regulation

Boundaries also play a huge role in emotional regulation. My neurodifferences can intensify emotional experiences, so it's important I set limits around how much social interaction, task load, or change I can manage before it feels too overwhelming.

3) Self-Advocacy

When I communicate my needs openly, I feel more empowered and those around me help create more supportive and understanding relationships.

There you have it. The background of boundaries and why you should set them, helps me stay on the ‘straight and narrow’ path, allowing me to get the best of myself, being happy, and healthier (physically and mentally)

Next week we go into part two of this. Boundaries at work

MEME OF THE WEEK

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Let us know if you have any questions, concerns in your neuro diverse world that you'd like me to address in future posts!

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