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CONTEXT

My first year at university was a challenge.

After each class, I would be super motivated to get my assignments or study session completed...

Until a friend would send me a text message to see whether I'm available to play call of duty or FIFA on playstation.

To which I would cave in knowing fully well I have sh*t to do, but the fear of missing out on the fun with my friends got the better of my impulse control.

It’s not until the deadline is imminent that the urgency kicks in!

Embarrassing to even say this but there was even a moment I was playing call of duty with a friend completely forgetting that I had an exam the next day!

It wasn’t until a friend from my class called me to check in with how my 'revision' was going, I was fully engrossed in my game at this point!

It was around 9:30pm.

I immediately told my friends whom I was video gaming with that I gotta shoot off, as I have an exam to prepare for and left the game.

It was actually one of my favourite modules that I enjoyed, "Financial statistics", I probably had less than 24 hours to prepare for this exam, luckily the exam was in the afternoon.

I managed to pull through the exam and get 64% which was good given the short term exam preparation.

But as this was one of my favourite subjects I was also unhappy at the missed opportunity to get say 70% or higher.

My FOMO on call of duty got the better of me and hindered me from reaching my full potential.

FOMO is a big form of distraction, which doesn’t help my ADHD

Since then, I knew things had to switch things up and this couldn't go on forever. I knew there would be dire consequences in my life if I didn't put things right.

I was literally fortunate that I had a keen interest in that subject, allowing me to stay locked in during my all night revision.

But imagine that was a subject I had 0 interest in? What's annoying is that those 'friends' are no longer in my life, and little did I know that they dropped out of university, having more time available to play video games.

Looking back I'm really disappointed with myself for allowing something silly like that to go on albeit it was one of the biggest wake up calls I've ever had.

I say:

• No to people pleasing and

• No to FOMO,

• Adopting JOMO (Joys of missing out)

In today's post I'll talk about the strategies I use to help me suppress the impulse and The fear of missing out feeling.

Enabling me to focus and prioritise on what really matters.

1) Environment matters: Phone and Video Games

2) Delete Social Media Apps

3) Do Not Disturb mode

4) Schedule time to go through notifications

DEEP DIVE

We’ll talk about Fear of Missing out to Joys Of Missing Out

1) Environment

I once read a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear, and one of the chapter I enjoy and still briefly skim through from time to time of the chapter on ‘Motivation is overrated, Environment Often Matter More"‘.

Example A: Video Games

In regards to my video game FOMO, if I'm going through a busy season at work, I tend to disconnect and lock away all the components of the video games (Playstation):

• Monitor

• Wires

• Controller

• Ethernet cable

The essence of this is that, if I wanted to play the game again, it would be such a hassle that there's almost no point.

It's supposed to be a deterrent to stop me from playing the game. Which I have found to be super effective.

I can end up going months on end without having to play any form of video games, and by the time I'm able to play it again, I have to do system updates etc which takes time.

Example B: Mobile Phone

This is a huge distraction, we apparent touch our phones 2617 times a day, like WTF!

I'm sure I've ran higher numbers!

To help me mitigate this, sometimes I tend to leave my phone is another room when working from home. Or better still hand my phone over to my wife to keep it from me,

• Unless it's lunch time

• Having my breaks or

• Finished work

It’s easy:

• To not play video games

• Look at my phone when it’s not in sight

As there’s no obvious cue to trigger the behaviour

2) Delete social media Apps

This for me has been the most effective.

Instagram is my time drainer, sometimes setting a daily limit doesn’t do any justice.

So, every so often I'll delete the app from my phone completely, meaning I have less reason to touch my phone.

Similar to the gaming, I can go weeks on end without missing social media. In the grand scheme of things I generally don't miss out on anything.

If I'm supposed to know something I'm sure it'll get through to me someone.

3) Do Not Disturb mode

If staying away from your phone is not feasible for whatever reason, setting my phone on Do Not Disturb is another shout.

For one, I don’t get any notifications that take my attention away. Only family members have the privilege of disturbing me.

Even then, I'll keep them in the loop that I'll be slow to respond given a busy period.

I've had moments where group chat correspondences on WhatsApp have reached 500+ messages.

I have 0 intentions to read every single message and most times I open the messages without reading just to reduce my unread messages.

"What I don't know, can't kill me" and I've coped perfectly fine without knowing what was said.

4) Schedule time to go through notifications

If you're like me, I don't know what balance means. My ADHD makes me an extreme person, it’s this way or that way!

I can go from being super distracted to super focussed.

When I go super focussed mode as mentioned in 3) I can have messages piling up.

So, to ensure that I'm not

a) ignoring anyone

b) missing out on anything

I tend to have moments where I'm reading and responding to messages. I don't have a designated time per se, but usually on the transport commute to the office, or on my lunch breaks.

Final Thoughts

My approach may appear cut throat, but it works for me. I find that this helps me get the results I need = Dopamiiiiiinne!!!

In the process it helps me indirectly focus on what's really important to and for me.

RECAP

1. FOMO is a big form of distraction

2. The world is not gonna end if you occasionally isolate yourself to limit distractions

3. Be ruthless with eliminating distraction

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Until Next time

Stay Different,

The ADHD Exec

Disclaimer: I am not your psychiatrist, coach, doctor. Neurodiverse Diary does not provide medical services or professional counselling and is not a substitute for professional medical care. Everything I publish represents my opinions, experience, not advice.