Hey!

This is Neuro Diverse Diary! The weekly Newsletter for professionals with Neuro Differences. It’s that time for another insight into our different world!

CONTEXT

"Are you okay?"

Growing up, mental health wasn't a thing. I didn't know that things like therapy, or mindfulness existed.

I just simply cracked on with whatever life had to throw at me and just said 'next' to each challenge.

I bought a bunch of self-help books and immersed myself in them. This helped me build my self-esteem and confidence. I spent my entire 20s reading all the self-help books 'Under the Sun'.

Although this was me playing serious catchup for not reading a single book in my adolescence, but it was worth the wait! As I've picked up a few key principles from those books,

When Mrs. ADHD Exec suggested I should consider therapy, based on my 'crazy' thinking process I dismissed her and said 'Nah, I'm good thanks'.

I assumed those books I consumed would be sufficient to serve me well in life, and to an extent they did. But there were still leaks that needed to be sealed.

It wasn't until I realised that I experience distorted cognitive thinking a lot, that I decided to start doing therapy.

This was before I was diagnosed with ADHD. I didn't know then that this was also a symptom of a neurodifference.

My ADHD diagnosis includes 'hyperactivity of the mind' and it's super important that I'm able to:

• Slow it down

• Steer the thoughts in the right direction

DEEP DIVE

In today's post, we'll discuss the cognitive regulation frameworks that you can't ignore.

In James Allen's book "As a Man Thinketh", he likens the mind to it being a garden.

• Planting good seeds (thoughts) --> The garden (mind) yields healthy outcomes

• Not planting the good seeds --> the weeds grow in our garden (mind)

I've encountered and been using a few techniques for some time. My top three approaches to regulating my cognitive distortions are:

1. Ask yourself, "Where is the evidence"?

2. Thought-stopping approach

3. What Alternatives are there?

Let's delve into them:

1) Where is the Evidence?

This is my favourite to be honest. I use this concept a lot when I find myself having anxious thoughts, or jumping to conclusions about a matter. The fact that you may believe something to be true doesn't mean it is.

When asking myself "Where is the evidence" that makes me think and feel like this?

If I took this 'evidence' to court will it stand up or be dismissed by the judge/jury?

Usually, I find that there is no evidence at all and it's simply just distorted thinking.

This simple question prevents my mind from destructively overthinking and going down the path of self-sabotage.

It allows me to embrace more constructive and positive thinking which is vital for the neurodivergent mind (planting good seeds in the garden).

2) Thought-Stopping Approach

If you ever have a sequence of negative or distressing thoughts, just click your fingers, or say 'NO' out loud.

The concept is to create a break in the cycle of negative thinking, enabling you to then replace the negative thought with a positive one and continue from there.

When I first encountered this concept, I thought it was bullsh*t. My therapist did give me the heads up that it might be a struggle to follow this through at the start.

If I've had a bad start to the day at work, and my mind starts to ‘anticipate’ that it's gonna be a 'bad day' I literally tell my mind to 'shut the f*ck up'. Call me crazy, but I find that it works for me.

I use this as a tool to redeem myself. It's not how you start, it's how you finish as the saying goes.

3) What Alternatives are there?

I can easily hyperfocus on the wrong thing, and perhaps due to my misinterpretation, or misunderstanding of the cues due to my neurodifference. This is a hindrance to my thinking process.

Especially when I haven't considered the other possible explanations for the given situation. Be it a disagreement, debate, or falling out with people.

If I think about a given situation say conflict at work, three years from now, is it possible that I'll evaluate it differently or I will be able to see it from a different perspective?

If I wouldn't be feeling so, 'sensitive' right now, would I think differently?

I recently had a falling out with one of my close friends over the lack of ‘checking in’ on each other.

My stance was I called last and expected them to return the call. To which they responded that they were going through personal circumstances that made them stressed and avoidant.

I felt stupid for allowing my mind to ever think that they were being malicious.

RECAP

1. Our “thoughts can become things” and it's important to have control over them

2. Having various strategies at your disposal is helpful

3. Don't give up! It can take some time to get into the habit and see results.

MEME OF THE WEEK

You've reached the end of the newsletter!

Let us know if you have any questions, concerns in your neuro diverse world that you'd like me to address in future posts!

Simply reply to this email!