For me, emotional regulation is among the most important aspects of managing my AuDHD and Trauma.

Everything centers around how I manage my emotions. Be it, whether I'm:

• Angry

• Sad

• Anxious

• Excited

As neurodivergents, we may struggle to get the balance with these. As for me, I'm quite an extreme person. I can easily go from 0 to 100, real quick.

• If I can't control my temper, it'll get me in trouble

• I can hold a grudge forever!

• I can do something crazy when I'm excited about something

I think it’s okay to feel those emotions, it’s just a case of learning how to manage them effectively. Yes, I may be a traumatized AuDHDer but I refuse to use that as an excuse.

Anger

When I'm angry, I try to pause (not responding immediately) taking deep breaths.

In real time we're talking milliseconds reactions so it's important I get the pause right, or I run the risk of potentially living to regret the impact of my actions.

I've found the effects of meditating super helpful with managing anger and impulse control. Taking deep breaths allows me to calm down, and think better. Which is what we wanna do when we're pissed off!

Sad

When I'm sad, I tend to play my favorite music.

On the one side of being sad, I've “dug my head in the sand” for a looong time. On the other side, I’ve also just "cracked on with life" and moved on.

Both are not healthy IMO.

My approach now is to speak to someone about it, usually, it's either:

• Mrs. AuDHD Exec

• My therapist or

• A friend

My spirit's alive when someone's been willing to hear my complaints, rants, and sadness. Even if they don’t have anything to say in return. I feel better, hope is restored, and optimism levels increase.

Anxiety

Anxiety has let me down the most! Anxiety can be crippling especially as a traumatized AuDHDer, my hypervigilance, and senses are off the roof!

Anxiety deserves a future newsletter post on its own.

My go-to when I'm anxious is writing.

• Journaling

• Writing down my thoughts

• What's bothering me

Being able to separate my thoughts from my head unto paper, allows me to:

• Think clearer and more rational

• Problem solve

• Stop the anxiety increasing

Anxiety has made me do some silly things in the past. The worst part is when your anxiety is based on having zero evidence. I.e. there is no tangible, logical reason for being anxious!

'What an absolute f*cking waste of time & energy it is to be anxious' I tell myself.

• Make that phone call or message

• Send that email

• Chase your dreams

What's the worst that can happen?? No one's gonna die!

Joy/Excitement

My wife gets scared whenever I'm in this state of mind because I might do something wild!

My impulse control can be outta control, potentially making me overstimulated and making it difficult to manage.

I upgraded and bought a new family car last week. Blasting Frank Sinatra ‘My Way’ on the way back home, with my foot pressed hard on the accelerator pedal for pretty much the entire journey! My wife constantly tells me to "calm down"!

As much as being happy is important, I have to be careful to manage the risk of being overstimulated by it, otherwise it can get outta control.

If I know that a certain activity might run the risk of overstimulation I might not be able to manage well... I:

• Delegate

• Minimize or

• Avoid completely

At least until I know how to manage it.

Mrs AuDHD Exec does more of the driving now until the 'honeymoon' effect of the car wears off on me!

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Lastly,

Stay Different,

The AuDHD Exec

Disclaimer: I am not your psychiatrist, coach, doctor. Neurodiverse Diary does not provide medical services or professional counselling and is not a substitute for professional medical care. Everything I publish represents my opinions, experience, not advice.