👨‍🏫 Mastering the Office Social Settings

‘Hey, we’re heading to the pub for Henry’s leaving do, you wanna come?’

 In my mind I’m thinking that I’ve declined on a couple invitations, the peer pressure is on!

“Yeah sure, I’ll come for one or two drinks” I responded. 

As an ADHDer, I battle with social anxiety and imposter syndrome from time to time 

Below is a framework on how I navigate this:

1) Intentionality

2) Start with an Introduction

3) Control the impulse

4) Follow up in the office

1) Intentionality

Make an attempt to show interest in the people you're interacting with in these social settings to start off with. Just to get you started, you never know what the outcome of an interaction with someone may be if you start to show interest. 

I’m an introvert and I don’t do so well in large groups, but I need to survive and believe it or not, most colleagues seem to think I’m extroverted. 

When I decide to go to these work socials I must do the three things below:

• Talk to at least two people I rarely speak to, or have never spoken to

• Understand their roles within the company

• Understand their interest outside of work

I’ve been doing this for years!

Having these three objectives incentivises me to come out of my zone, attend these social events, and helps me overcome that social hurdle.

2) Start with an Introduction

• I introduce myself 

• Talk about my team and where I sit within the organization 

• They’ll likely do the same

• This is usually an open floor for us to ask questions 

• Talk about things outside of work

I often find myself gravitating towards members of other departments that interest me for learning purposes. I’ll find it easier to follow through as I’m likely to have a keen interest in what they do. 

As an ADHDer if I don’t have interest in something it’s harder for me to lock in. So doing the above helps me stay in tune and alert.

In a recent work social, I spoke with a Data Science Director and a Senior Commercial Exec as I’m interested in the world of tech. We got off like a house on fire!

They also mentioned that they have neuro divergent children! (dyslexic to be precise)

I would’ve never known if I didn’t attend the work social. 

3) Control the impulse:

Key ones are:

i) Constant Interrupting, not allowing people to finish talking

ii) Chance of saying politically incorrect things

i) Constant Interrupting, not allowing people to finish talking

As someone with ADHD, I have a tendency to interrupt a lot, and I don’t mean to be rude. I usually do this especially when the conversation is interesting. So I have to ensure that I manage this impulse effectively as it can give off the wrong impression. 

In a previous post I wrote about techniques I do to help me manage this urge to interrupt others.

ii) Chance of saying politically incorrect things 

Just because you may not physically be on the work premises, doesn’t mean you’re safe to talk about anything!

One still has to maintain professionalism and not get carried away!

You still have to be diligent, not allowing alcohol (if in a pub setting) to get the better of you. 

I don’t drink alcohol; personal preference. I have to remain being politically correct, anything I say or do can come back to bite me in the a** at work. 

Being neuro divergent is not gonna wash as an excuse!

4) Follow up in the office

Assuming the work social went well, feel free to ask the person whether they’re happy to show you what they and their team do. A high level presentation, or run through. 

I did this a lot early in my career, before I knew I had ADHD, albeit I’ve been presenting the symptoms.

In a previous company as the Finance Manager I was keen about the science behind marketing. So I asked the Marketing Manager to show me what they do.

Little did I know that some of the techniques would be relevant to how I market my Neuro Diverse newsletter!

Recap:

1. Be Intentional. Perhaps set yourself a target. “Speak to x people today”

2. Control the impulse

3. Follow through to enhance working relations

Overcoming these social settings is doable!

Quote of the week

Stay Different,

The ADHD Exec

Disclaimer: I am not your psychiatrist, coach, doctor. Neurodiverse Diary does not provide medical services or professional counselling and is not a substitute for professional medical care. Everything I publish represents my opinions, experience, not advice.