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The Perception

When coworkers whisper behind your back, what do they say?

Maybe they call you

• ‘arrogant,’

• ‘awkward,’ or

• ‘eccentric’

These labels can sting!

But they often come from a lack of understanding about how our neurodivergent brains work.

They might see your lazer focus as aloofness or your passion for niche topics as ‘weird.’

But IMO, they’re part of what makes you exceptional!

The Reality

We’re not trying to come off as

• ‘stuck-up’ or

• ‘arrogant’

If you’re autistic, crowded networking events might feel overwhelming.

If you have ADHD, keeping up with group chats might be tough when your brain’s bouncing between ideas.

For me, small talk feels like a puzzle with missing pieces, but give me a deep dive into a topic I love, and I’m all in.

Our brains might

• Hyperfocus on details

• Crave meaningful connections

• Or struggle with social cues.

In the workplace, this can look like dominating a meeting with ideas (seen as ‘arrogant’) or staying quiet in a brainstorm, because you’re taking everything in (seen as ‘disengaged’).

But those are just our strengths showing up in ways others might not understand.

The Acceptance

I’ve learned to accept I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. I’d rather be my quirky, deep-thinking self than fake it to fit in.

That’s just exhausting!

But accepting myself doesn’t mean I can’t grow.

Like Warren Buffett, who took a Dale Carnegie course to conquer public speaking, we can build soft skills in ways that feel authentic.

Try this:

In your next meeting, practice one active listening trick, like:

• Nodding

• or paraphrasing what someone says

Or, if small talk trips you up, prep a few open-ended questions like,

• “What’s been the highlight of your week?”

• “Any plans this weekend?”

• “How was your weekend”

Small steps like these build confidence without draining your energy.

The Growth I

One of my favorite ways to grow is through self-help books, like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People.

It’s a classic that’s helped me navigate workplace relationships without losing my neurodivergent edge. Here are a few gems from the book that resonate:

• Show genuine interest: Ask colleagues about their interests and really listen. It’s a structured way to connect, even if small talk isn’t your thing.

• Smile to soften perceptions: A simple smile can make you seem approachable, countering those “arrogant” or “awkward” labels.

Books like this are game-changers, and you don’t have to go it alone.

The Growth II

Many companies offer training budgets for personal development. Check if your workplace provides funds for courses or workshops on:

• presentation skills,

• communication,

• stress management

   

Please note: The further you progress in your career, the more softer skills will be required!

These can be tailored to your neurodivergent needs, like practicing in low-pressure settings or focusing on your unique strengths.

Investing in yourself this way is a win-win!

Your Turn

What’s one soft skill you’ve struggled with in the workplace, and how have you worked on it?

Hit reply and share your story. I’d love to hear it!

If you enjoyed this post, or know people who can benefit from it. Please spread the word. They can subscribe at neurodiversediary.io/subscribe

Lastly,

Stay Different,

The AuDHD Exec

Disclaimer: I am not your psychiatrist, coach, doctor. Neurodiverse Diary does not provide medical services or professional counselling and is not a substitute for professional medical care. Everything I publish represents my opinions, experience, not advice.