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Why I Avoided Conflict

I’ve always been conflict-avoidant, not because I’m a natural peacemaker, but because I didn’t trust myself to respond well.

As a neurodivergent, I guess I was conscious I don’t mess things up.

Turning the other cheek felt like my only option, but it came with a cost.

Friends and colleagues sometimes saw my avoidance as a weakness, leading to strained relationships or even workplace challenges.

I realized that if I wanted a thriving career and healthy connections, I needed to master the art of managing conflict.

For me, I think resolving disputes calmly and confidently is grown and sexy.

People avoid conflict for all sorts of reasons:

• Fear of gaslighting

• Worrying about offending someone

• Dreading being misunderstood

For me, conflict avoidance hit home when my career was on the line.

The Wake-Up Call That Changed Everything

A former boss once called me out for not speaking up during a disagreement.

She urged me to voice my thoughts, as long as I kept it

• Professional

• Diplomatic

I really needed this! Her words shifted my entire approach.

I started seeing conflict not as a threat, but as an opportunity to grow and advocate for myself.

How I Learned to Face Conflict Head-On

Over time, I developed strategies to handle tough conversations with confidence. Here’s what works for me:

• Check Your Emotional State: I assess whether I’m angry, upset, or calm. If my emotions are running high, I find subtle ways to delay the conversation until I’m in a better headspace.

• Gather the Facts: I review emails, messages, or my journal to ground myself in evidence, not just feelings. Facts keep me steady.

• Plan Your Approach: I brainstorm my talking points and sometimes run them by a trusted colleague for a second opinion. This builds my confidence.

• Journal Regularly: Tracking my thoughts, events, and tasks helps me stay prepared to present my case clearly and calmly. In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to lose track of key details. Journaling has been a game-changer, helping me organize my thoughts and recall events accurately.

When I’m ready to engage, I construct my case carefully, especially in professional settings where tact is crucial.

Running my ideas with a colleague or even using AI to refine my approach has also made a big difference.

Over time the more successful conflicts you have, the more confidence and competence you build from it.

Final Thoughts

Conflict is inevitable, but avoiding it can hold you back.

Have you found strategies that help you stay calm and confident? Reply and share your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you!

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Lastly,

Stay Different,

The AuDHD Exec

Disclaimer: I am not your psychiatrist, coach, doctor. Neurodiverse Diary does not provide medical services or professional counselling and is not a substitute for professional medical care. Everything I publish represents my opinions, experience, not advice.