Today is part II of growing up neurodivergent with Immigrant Parents series. If you missed part I, check it out here 

My parents’ aspiration for me went something like:

“Why don’t you be a…”

“Doctor”
“Lawyer”
“Accountant”
“Engineer”

Me: …But I wanna be a painter…

Dad: No chance

Me: I like athletics

Mum: There’s no backup, it’s not sustainable, short career.

My fate is decided, and now the pressure is on to make the parents proud! Again, I’m not bashing them; they didn’t know any better in a foreign land!

It was between:

• Engineering and

• Accounting

So, I reverse-engineer to identify what I need to study… It’s math and science.

They were not subjects I enjoyed, and now my anxiety is heightened.

Despite this resentment, I needed to ensure I did well in the subjects.

Pure pain and suffering, right?

I really loved:

• Art

• History

• Geography

• Classical civilisation

(Should’ve known I was a neurodivergent then!)

In our culture, my love for these was just “hobbies,” not real paths.

My quiet ways and weird interests got called “laziness” or “shyness.”

That stigma meant no one saw my neurodivergence

• Parents or

• Teachers

I was the student who was a delight to have for the teachers. My teachers didn’t have a bad word to say about me during my parents’ teacher conference/meeting.

I didn’t really like school or formal education at all. Just wanted to make money and get started on the practical side of life, so I played the long game.

Tricking my brain that if I do well in the relevant subjects in school, I’m a step closer to making money.

I was a quiet kid growing up in school. I knew what I wanted and was determined to make my dreams come true.

Throughout my educational journey, I only made a few new friends, like minded ones.

For the most part, I stuck with my “day one” friends.

College/university was worse! I essentially just went to collect my undergrad degree and left!

I thought everyone else was:

• Childish

• Not ambitious

But in reality, I’m the “weird” one. What I was going through wasn’t normal. I grew up too fast.

My thought process was “just another step” closer to my goal.

I’m no expert, but I always wondered if the people I connected with over the years are also neurodivergent. (talk about law of attraction)

Studies say first-gen kids like me are more likely to have Autism or ADHD from migration stress and less early help.

A handful of 1st generation folks I speak to have similar challenges like this.

It has serious effects:

• Fuels anxiety

• Makes social connections tough

Next week, we'll dive into Week 3 of the series: "Mask on Fire".

All about work stress, imposter syndrome, and navigating the corporate grind as a neurodivergent with immigrant roots.

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Interesting stuff I stumbled across on the web this week…

• ADHDHelp.app provides ADHD support via self-help techniques, affirmations, ambient sounds, assessments, and premium tools for focus and calm. Check it out https://x.com/DopaminePlsMe

• UK rapper Giggs talks about his struggles growing up with Autism in school

Lastly,

Stay Different,

The AuDHD Exec

Disclaimer: I am not your psychiatrist, coach, doctor. Neurodiverse Diary does not provide medical services or professional counselling and is not a substitute for professional medical care. Everything I publish represents my opinions, experience, not advice.