CONTEXT

It's the start of college season (high school for some), there’s an opportunity to apply for a mentor. So I completed this application form and voila I got accepted, and awaiting confirmation on who my mentor is.

Before this, I had zero clue what having a mentor meant, but I knew I was wired differently then (just didn't know it was ADHD). I knew I needed help and guidance on the future prospects, and I was hungry to learn and grow.

I recently reread the first email I got from him introducing himself as my assigned mentor. It was a good moment reflecting on my life (personal and professional). This email was over 15 years ago! 

He was Senior Vice President for one of the largest US investment banks and I was very fortunate to shadow him, having two back to back summer paid internships. 

His approach to life was ‘old school’ and authentic, ‘your word is your bond’ type of thing, and that aura was contagious. 

Family and a few friends of mine now consider me the ‘serious’ type of person.

I would meet up with him every Tuesday after college. While my friends were playing football in the park. My FOMO was on steroids, but I played the long game, sacrificed and believed that the wisdom I would receive would serve me well in years to come. Classic ADHD superpower ey? out-of-the box thinking

It was a painful process knowing my friends were having fun whilst I was doing the ‘boring’ stuff at the time. However looking back every second listening to the advice my mentor had to offer was worth it.

My first assignment upon meeting him was to create a time table I can stick to. Enabling me to create a routine in my personal and academic life, revision, coursework etc. I didn’t have any form of structure before this but a burning desire and going with the flow. 

Upon sticking to this timetable exercise, I felt more satisfied and a sense of accomplishment.

I still adopt this method, by blocking my calendar and setting a timer usually in bursts of 30 minutes which I covered in an earlier post.

I told him my aspirations to one day become a Chartered Accountant, and we got to work immediately. 

DEEP DIVE

Today we’re talking about 7 things Neurodivergents can benefit from a mentor:

7 things Neurodivergents can benefit from a mentor

1. Organisation

2. Staying Prepared

3. Remaining Calm

4. Networking skills

5. Career Guidance

6. Confidence Building

7. Accountability 

1) Organisation

For someone with ADHD, organisation is something I’ve found challenging growing up. Being able to understand the importance of this helped me improve my organisation.

It’s a ‘life or death’ mentality, whenever I organise myself, things generally tend to go well, when I don't organise, then there’s a ‘car crash’. Having a routine has helped me immensely!

More recently I’ve adopted the bullet journaling method, which I’ve been enjoying. More on that in a future post. It essentially helps me track my tasks, events so I don’t lose sight of it.

2) Stay Prepared

In addition to point 1. Being organised helps me prepare for a lot of eventualities. I live by the slogan ‘only the paranoid survive’. The times in my life where I’ve pulled a rabbit out of the hat have been attributable to me staying prepared for eventualities. Be it in a project I'm working on, when I got my high grades from my accounting exams, job interviews. 

6 P’s to remember:

My mentor use to remind me that:

Prior

Planning

Prevents

Piss

Poor

Performance

3) Remaining Calm

In the earlier years, I panicked a lot when things didn't go according to plan. The honest truth is that most if not all of my howlers have come from whenever I’ve panicked! 

Being able to take in the moment, process my emotions and write down the tasks on paper slows down my hamster wheel brain, enabling me to think logically and clearly. I still believe the panic feeling is useful, because it gets me started, but I have to channel that energy.

I mean who doesn’t want to be calm like Michael Corleone?

4) Networking

‘It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” 

As mentioned, once I told my mentor my aspirations we got to work!

He wasn’t a Chartered Accountant but he knew people who were and I was fortunate to be introduced to them. 

My mentor had other mentees that I was also fortunate to meet, bounce ideas, share aspirations from. I still keep in contact with them today. 

Whenever he had company social events he would invite myself and the other mentees to hang out. It was a further opportunity to speak to people who had more insight, expertise and pick their wisdom.

5) Career Guidance

Following on from point 4) my mentor wasn’t a Chartered Accountant, but he knew people who were. 

Generally speaking you want a mentor who has the specialised knowledge in the field you are looking to pursue. In my case my mentor didn’t know the nuances of Accounting, but the people he introduced me to did. 

I was able to get the insights on the career path, my options available and the requirements.

6) Confidence Building

“One important key to success is self-confidence” At some point after a period of time when I started getting organised, preparing well, improving on my calmness and all of the above. My self confidence, self esteem just shot through the roof. 

I would constantly tell myself to:

“Believe in yourself”

“Be strong”

Over time I think this registered in my subconscious mind. 

I remember growing up with people who were academically better than me, but they didn't fare well in their accounting qualifications and gave up but I managed to pull through and qualify. 

I’d attribute this to the increase in my self confidence. My eyes light up whenever there’s a problem to solve.

7) Accountability

I finally ended up becoming a  Chartered Accountant. I told my mentor what I wanted to do and years later I accomplished it. I was super proud of myself upon accomplishing this.

Being held accountable:

• Improved my performance: With all the time invested in me, I was never gonna let anyone down! 

• Improved my personal growth; my mentor and the other mentees were my ‘business partners’ for my personal growth and development.

• Increased my motivation

• Helped me make better decisions concerning my life (professional and personal)

When searching for a mentor, it may be worth factoring the below:

• Chemistry: The two parties need to be in sync. Be mindful that both your times are invested in this. So finding someone you click with is critical to the longevity of the partnership. 

• Relatability: My mentor was a senior exec and also a family oriented person, which is what I aspired to attaining one day.

Finding a mentor: There are many ways you can find a mentor:

• I found mine through a scheme when I was in college.

• Your organisation may have a mentorship scheme in place

• There’s no harm in informally reaching out to someone in your current organisation and asking them to be your mentor. Someone you may have a good rapport with.

• Search on Linkedin for mentors

Recap

1. Be comfortable being different and sacrificing for the greater good

2. Your mentor is your ‘business partner’ for your personal growth.

3. Picking the right person to be your mentor is vital for the long term.

Quote of the week

Lastly

More drama! I think I may also be dyslexic. Next week we’ll talk about it and the next steps I’ll be taking

Please help me spread the word and forward this to your neuro divergent friends!

Stay Different,

The ADHD Exec

Disclaimer: I am not your psychiatrist, coach, doctor. Neurodiverse Diary does not provide medical services or professional counselling and is not a substitute for professional medical care. Everything I publish represents my opinions, experience, not advice.