Hey!

This is Neuro Diverse Diary! The weekly Newsletter for professionals with Neuro Differences. It’s that time for another insight into our different world!

I took one of those personality tests DISC. It measures the following levels in an individual:

It's used to somewhat predict and understand a person's behaviour in various situations. Helping to improve:

• Communication

• Teamwork

• Personal development

All by recognising different personality traits.

My 1st Result

When I first took this test. My results are below:

• Steadiness - Green

• Conscientiousness - Blue

I understood the test to be "how you are at work". I immediately knew that was not an accurate reflection of myself.

I queried it with the Global HR leader. They insisted that the test result was a true reflection of me, in and out of work... I left it and didn’t wanna kick up a fuss about it.

I shared my results with The Finance VP. They were shocked that I didn't get a drop of red/dominance.

They mentioned that I strike them as competitive. I agreed and months later requested to do another test.

I pleaded my case to the Global HR Boss, that I didn't think I answered the questions truthfully. I mentioned that because:

• I struggle with imposter syndrome

• As a result, I mask

• Which was reflected in the test results

Side note: I can assure you I'm not a psychopath, nor do I have a personality disorder! But I know myself.

My 2nd Result

The HR Boss gave me another shot to do the test.

I did it with Mrs ADHD Exec as my body doubler; helping me verify my responses to the questions, and I got a mixture of the below:

• Dominance - Red

• Conscientiousness - Blue

• Steadiness - Green

Now this is more like it!

The HR boss saw the results and said "interesting, you really know how to answer the questions" insinuating that I know how to 'play the game'.

I've probably subconsciously been doing this (masking) for decades even before I was diagnosed with my neuro-difference..

Anywho, those who know me well will agree with me when I say:

• I'm very competitive. Picture Michael Jordan in his prime

• I'm ambitious

• I set high standards for myself and those around me

• Results-driven (Can be cutthroat)

• Direct communicator

I always knew this about myself, but for a huge chunk of my career I felt I had to 'tone it down'.

I felt it made people above and around me feel somewhat:

• Threatened

• Insecure

• Uncomfortable

And perhaps I felt 'people pleasing' would solve it... It only made it worse.

• It’s mentally draining

• It increased my anxiety

I guess this is where emotional intelligence comes in. Despite being a red-dominant person, I have to learn how to work with people who are:

• Different

• Not as hungry as me

I never got to showcase my qualities or reach my potential in a couple of roles earlier in my career.

Final Thoughts

Similar to Hollywood actors needing time to detach themselves from their acting roles.

Neurodivergent maskers like me also need time to recharge, soul search and plan to be ourselves..

MEME OF THE WEEK

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