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The first time I secured a job without formally applying felt like a cheat code!

Here’s how I learned relationships are the key to career success, especially for neurodivergents.

1) The Old Mindset

Early in my career, I thought success was simple:

• Go to work,

• Work as hard as possible,

• And eventually, you’d be noticed and rewarded.

As a neurodivergent, I valued:

• Honesty and

• Integrity, assuming they’d be enough.

That may be true for some, but for some neurodivergents, this approach misses a critical piece of the puzzle.

Being personable, sociable can help. Although this was initially challenging.

2) The Revelation

My eyes opened up to how the job market can work outside of the formal applications:

• Word of mouth

• Recommendations

• Referrals

Forming professional relationships was something I clearly underestimated and was ignorant about. Particularly earlier in my career.

3) How I Changed

Once I observed how the referral game went down, I proactively sought to build these kinds of relationships for survival.

Although I’ve always been someone who leaves a lasting impression on people (I’ve been told this).

It’s something I was never conscious of until it needed to be!

People tend to remember how you made them feel. Not to say I was everyone’s cup of tea.

I would pay closer attention and intentionally make my stakeholders happy where I could.

Building rapport with people over the years, such as:

• Supervisors

• Co workers

• Recruiters

Really helped me get jobs without trying as hard as I used to. Obviously, I’ve still had to do the formal interviews, etc.

People are now vouching for me, and putting their names on the line for me, and I can’t let them down!

This was a revelation for my neurodivergent brain. I saw the bigger picture, and my mindset shifted to building relationships on the job.

The big catch here is that I have to DELIVER and perform on the job to help me maintain these key professional relationships.

I recently stumbled across a TikTok post, and the person mentioned how they had never formally applied for a job.

The right jobs were brought to them throughout their career. Based on the relationships they built and the deliverables.

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Lastly,

Stay Different,

The AuDHD Exec

Disclaimer: I am not your psychiatrist, coach, doctor. Neurodiverse Diary does not provide medical services or professional counselling and is not a substitute for professional medical care. Everything I publish represents my opinions, experience, not advice.